Attraction of the Week
The Living Seas
or, Polly Wanna Kraken?
Music for Oceaneering(that's like Imagineering, only it's all wet):
Attraction of the WeekThe Living Seasor, Polly Wanna Kraken?Music for Oceaneering(that's like Imagineering, only it's all wet): |
|
January 1999
Iago: Well, Zazu, are you ready to watch the big game?
Zazu: Oh, are we riding Kilimanjaro Safaris today? Let me get my binoculars.
Iago: No, not that big game. I'm talking about watching the Super Bowl.
Zazu: Iago, rest assured I always watch the soup bowls when you're around. Not to mention the silverware. By the way, what's that you have under your wing?
Iago: Er, nothing. <CLANG!! CLATTER!!>
Zazu: Just as I suspected! One of my silver soup spoons.
Iago: I just need to borrow it. It's for the dip.
Zazu: I'm well aware of that. I don't care how dippy you are; you can't go around stealing other people's soup spoons.
Iago: No, no, the onion dip. I need it to stir the soup mix with the sour cream. I always have chips and dip. It helps me enjoy the Super Bowl.
Zazu: Personally, I like Goldfish crackers in my soup bowl.
Iago: Zazu, for Pete's sake, I'm talking about the big football game. The Sup-ER Bowl, not the soup bowl. Don't you support the dirty birds?
Zazu: Considering all the silverware you've stolen from me, I know I support at least one dirty bird.
Iago: No, no, the Atlanta Falcons are playing the Denver Broncos for the championship of the National Football League today. Now do you understand?
Zazu: Why certainly. Why didn't you say so in the first place? What time does the game start?
Iago: 6:18 PM.
Zazu: Good! Then we have time to visit Epcot, where I can show you a really super bowl. In fact, if we were predators, it would be the World's best soup bowl, too.
Iago: Oooooh, are we gonna go to Le Cellier for some cheddar cheese soup?
Zazu: No, this bowl doesn't contain cheese. It's full of ... er, sashimi.
Iago: Great! I like Japanese food. Let's go.
Zazu: Here we are, Iago!
Iago: Whadda ya mean? This isn't the Japan Pavilion. It's The Living Seas.
Zazu: Precisely. The largest manmade ocean environment, nicknamed the world's sixth largest "ocean."
Iago: And me without my Speedo!
Zazu: Thank heaven for small favors. (And I do mean small.) The Living Seas opened on 15 January 1986. Did you know that the Caribbean Coral Reef tank in this pavilion is 203 feet in diameter, 27 feet deep, and contains 5.7 million gallons of water? It's so large that Spaceship Earth, at 164 feet in diameter, could fit inside it.
Iago: No wonder they call it Spaceship Earth! I wouldn't wanna be standing too close when they drop that sucker into the water. Talk about a cannonball!
Zazu: Speaking of splashes, how about these waves crashing outside the pavilion entrance? A very effective prelude to the experience inside.
Iago: Just what is the experience inside?
Zazu: Why don't we stroll past this attractive mural and find out, shall we?
Iago: OK. I bet there's mermaids in here.... What's all this weird stuff?
Zazu: That drawing depicts the glass diving barrel "Colimpha" used by Alexander the Great in 332 B.C.
Iago: A diving barrel? I've heard of wheelbarrows, pickle barrels, and, most importantly, beer barrels, but never a diving barrel.
Zazu: This was the earliest form of providing respiration for divers. Over here is Sir Edmund Halley's first diving bell, from the late 17th century.
Iago: Isn't he the comet guy?
Zazu: Very good, Iago. Diving bells are still used today, and are the successors of these strange-looking devices.
Iago: I'd like to try out that bell thingy.
Zazu: That would be appropriate for a ding-dong like you. Come along, it's time for the preshow.
Iago: Oooooh, look at the pretty waves! I knew there would be mermaids. This is just like Voyage of the Little Mermaid.
Zazu: Not quite, Iago.
Iago: Darn! Hey, what's United Technologies got to do with all this?
Zazu: They were the original sponsor of The Living Seas. They're involved in such things as aerospace and electronics....
Iago: I thought they made elevators.
Zazu: Er, that too.
Iago: Maybe they should sponsor the Tower of Terror. I don't see what they've got to do with the ocean.
Zazu: You'll find out a bit later. Now it's time for the film.
Female Narrator: Try to imagine, just for a moment, that somewhere in the endless reaches of the universe ... on the outer edge of a galaxy of a hundred thousand million suns ... deep within a cluster of slowly forming planets, a small sphere of just the right size lies just the right distance from its mother star ... cooling in the coldness of space. Try to imagine....
Iago: Hey Zazu, her voice sounds familiar. Where do I know that voice from?
Zazu: Shhhhh!
Female Narrator: Rain upon that planet Earth. And it rained ... and rained ... and rained. The deluge.
Iago: I knew I shouldn't have had that extra large cup of Beverly on the way over here....
Zazu: <whisper> Will you be quiet!?
Female narrator: There, amid raging underwater storms and fiery underwater volcanoes....
Iago: She's really turning me on with that husky voice. I know I've heard it before. She's making me hot.
Zazu: If you don't shut up, you'll find yourself taking a very cold bath with some very nasty predators.
Iago: I can't help it. I know her from somewhere....
Female Narrator: A world where the cold sea pours DEEP into the mountains' WARM core through immense cracks in its surface....
Iago: Oooooh, baby!
Female Narrator: ... and then RISES back to the ocean floor as a SUPER-HEATED, mineral-laden FLUID emitting what to us would be lethal concentrations of poisonous chemicals....
Iago: THAT'S IT!!!! I know where I've heard that voice before. It was on the 900 number I called last week from your phone, Zazu. She said her name was Misty Waters, and she wanted to explore the depths of....
Zazu: Will you please shut up, you larcenous lecher! You'll be paying for that call. Right now, it's time to enter the hydrolators.
Female Announcer: ... when the hydrolator doors have opened completely, take small children by the hand....
Iago: They let young children in this attraction!? What can they be thinking? Hey, what is this thing? It looks like an elevator.
Zazu: A hydrolator, to be exact. This will take us to Sea Base Alpha.
Iago: So this is where United Technologies gets into the act. Look at those bubbles. We must be going pretty far down. The floor is shaking and everything.
Zazu: <whispering> Actually, Iago, we're not really going anywhere. It's an illusion, like the stretch room effect in the Magic Kingdom's Haunted Mansion.
Iago: So they got these elevator people to sponsor this thing, and then they don't even build a real elevator? Oh, that makes a lot of sense. By the way, do these tourists know we're not really going anyplace?
Zazu: I'm sure at least some of them don't realize that.
Iago: <screaming> WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!
Zazu: Iago!
Iago: Heheheheh. Only kidding, folks. Just wanted to add a little excitement. Zazu here says we're not really go....
Zazu: Oh look, we've arrived at the boarding platform. Don't pay any attention to him, ladies and gentlemen. He forgot to take his medication this morning. Let's all board our Sea Cabs to see the pretty fishies.
Iago: You mean we're finally gonna see some fish? It's about time.
Commander Fulton: Ah, ladies and gentlemen, this is Commander Fulton....
Iago: Fulton? Hey, are we at the Crab House, Zazu? You promised me sashimi.
Zazu: No, Iago, he's not that Fulton. And just look around you. Raw fish everywhere!
Iago: Is this where we get to pick which one we want on our plate?
Zazu: Not exactly. This is where we get to admire and learn more about these amazing creatures. And this tank is pretty amazing, too. It was first filled using water from several different wells, to protect the underground water supply. Then the fresh water was converted to sea water, using 27 truckloads of non-iodized salt, 400 tons of magnesium chloride, and 300 tons of magnesium sulfate. It took ten days for the whole process, and it's monitored by computer around the clock to make sure it remains the perfect environment for its inhabitants.
Iago: We should all be so lucky. That sure is a lot of water to maintain.
Zazu: It most certainly is. Why, just six inches of depth in the main tank would be enough to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool. Distinct tanks within the exhibit hold dolphins, seals, sea lions, kelp, predators, and coral reef. They're all kept comfy and healthy at temperatures between 74 and 78 degrees Farenheit.
Iago: So what happens if bad stuff gets into the tank?
Zazu: You mean if you fell in? Let's see ... first you would be forced to the top of the tank, along with the other impurities, by the reverse-flow filtration system. Then you would pass through a four-foot wide main into one of ten sand-filter tanks at the rate of 35,000 gallons per minute. Then you'd go through the ozone defuser, which cleans the water of parasites like yourself. After that, the Iago-free water would be pumped to the top of the pavilion, and gravity would send it back into the tank. The entire tank can be recycled this way every 2 hours and 40 minutes.
Iago: Holy Mackerel! I guess this parrot won't try to be a fish then.
Zazu: Funny you should mention that. Do you see that colorful fish over there?
Iago: Yeah....
Zazu: That's a parrotfish. And it's aptly named, too. It has quite a lot in common with you, as a matter of fact.
Iago: Like what?
Zazu: For one thing, it has what looks like a beak, as you can see.
Iago: So far, so good. I like this fish.
Zazu: They also have a very strong odor.
Iago: Oh. Sorry. It's all the tacos I eat.
Zazu: If you think tacos cause an odor, you should hear what these parrotfish eat. In the ocean, they eat coral, which they crunch up with the tough teeth in their throats. Actually, it's the green algae on the coral that they want. And having seen your refrigerator, I think you must like having green stuff on your food, too. Here in The Living Seas, synthetic coral has been created out of dental plaster, ground fish, and other delectable goodies.
Iago: Dental plaster? So they clean their teeth while they eat. That doesn't sound so bad.
Zazu: They also can make a mucous cocoon, which they wrap themselves in. I've seen you when you have a cold. It can't be any worse than that.
Iago: Yeah, yeah, so I was a little gooey that time I ran out of Kleenex. Big deal.
Zazu: But you haven't heard my favorite fact about parrotfish yet.
Iago: I'm afraid to ask....
Zazu: They're transsexuals!
Iago: WHAT!? You're making that up.
Zazu: No, really. Some females become males. Isn't that amusing?
Iago: Are you calling me a girly-bird?
Zazu: You do seem to be rather fond of beads.
Iago: That's because I'm so macho that all the chicks throw them at me!
Zazu: Whatever you say, Ladybird. I must add that parrotfish do perform an important function. The coral that they grind up is released as sand. A single parrotfish can produce over a ton of sand in one year. So parrotfish "waste" actually helps to create those nice white beaches.
Iago: You mean those tourists are lying on....
Zazu: Er, yes.
Iago: Oh, well that makes me feel much better about them. But let's look at something else now. How about the dolphins?
Zazu: Of course. You do understand that these are not dolphinfish, which are often seen on restaurant menus as mahi-mahi. Nor are they heraldic dolphins, which can be seen on top of the Dolphin hotel. These are....
Iago: Aw, forget it! What are these big things over here?
Zazu: Ah, those are the West Indian manatees. Also called sea cows because of their size and vegetarian diet.
Iago: Great. I expect to find mermaids in here, and instead I find transsexual fish and underwater cows!
Zazu: Believe it or not, manatees are a possible source of the mermaid legend. That is, if you like your mermaids up to 13 feet long and 3,500 pounds.
Iago: Wow. Ariel would really have to let herself go to get that big.
Zazu: In fact, manatees belong to the scientific order sirenia. In ancient mythology, sirens were sea nymphs who, with their beautiful songs, lured sailors to their violent deaths by shipwreck. After long months at sea, I suppose a manatee could look eerily like the human form to a lonely sailor.
Iago: I could never be that lonely. But that reminds me of a joke about a parrot and a shipwreck. There was once a magician on a cruise ship who performed mainly sleight of hand tricks. He had a regular spot on the ship's cabaret evening entertainment. He was actually quite a good magician, but his routines were regularly ruined by the onboard parrot who would fly around squawking out and giving away his secrets like:
"IT'S UP HIS SLEEVE, IT'S UP HIS SLEEVE!" or
"IT'S IN HIS POCKET, IT'S IN HIS POCKET!" or
"IT'S IN HIS MOUTH, IT'S IN HIS MOUTH!"
The magician was getting pretty sick of this and threatened to kill the parrot if it ruined his act one more time. That evening right at the climax of his act, just as he was about to disappear in a puff of smoke, the ship hit an iceberg and sank in seconds.
Amazingly, the magician and the parrot were the only two survivors. The magician was lying on a piece of driftwood in a daze. As he opened his eyes he could see the parrot staring at him out of its beady little eye.
The parrot sat there for hours just staring at him and eventually said, "OK, I give up, what did you do with the ship?" Bwahahahahahaha!
Zazu: Very amusing, Iago. May we continue with our tour now?
Iago: Oh, all right. I was just trying to liven up the living seas, which are pretty dead if you ask me. Anyway, I'm gonna try and get me a gig on the Disney Magic. Hey, what's this spacesuit doing here?
Zazu: That's not a spacesuit. It's a JIM suit.
Iago: I don't think I'd be very comfortable on the basketball court in this, Zazu.
Zazu: No, not a gym suit. A JIM suit! J-I-M, Jim.
Iago: Ohhhhh. So does that mean only guys named Jim can wear it?
Zazu: No, but the first guy to wear and test one was named Jim. You see, it's an ADS, or atmospheric diving suit, invented by Joseph Peress and successfully tested in Loch Ness by diver Jim Jarret back in 1930. For some reason, no one was interested in this invention until 1965, when oil exploration was being done in the North Sea, and the oil industry was looking for a way to safely get divers onto the ocean floor. A JIM suit allows a diver to go 600 meters, or 1968 feet below the surface.
Iago: I guess that answers the question, "How low can you go?"
Zazu: I think you answer that question every day.
Iago: Well, this has all been very educational, Zazu, but I'm really, really hungry, and I feel like having seafood.
Zazu: Very well, Iago. Why don't we go to the Coral Reef Restaurant?
Iago: Um, they don't serve coral reef, do they? Because I don't wanna turn into a parrotfish. Or anything else, for that matter. <shudder>
Zazu: No, I promise you won't have to eat coral. And since you were kind enough to see my super bowl, I'll watch your Super Bowl after dinner. I'll even dance the Dirty Bird with you.
Iago: Great! Since you're being so nice, I'll let you lead.
Zazu: Oh, I'm sure you will. It's the ladylike thing to do.
The music chosen to accompany this page is “Aquarius” by Arthur Terence Galt MacDermot, Gerome Ragni, and James Rado.