Attraction of the Week
Alice in Wonderland
or, Iago & Zazu Jabber Wacky
Music for Getting Confuseder and Confuseder:
“The time has come,” the Parrot said, |
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Attraction of the WeekAlice in Wonderlandor, Iago & Zazu Jabber WackyMusic for Getting Confuseder and Confuseder: |
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Iago: Hey Zazu, I went to one of those story-telling sessions last night over at Epcot. The kind you can only get with an American Express package. Alice was the featured story-teller.
Zazu: Iago, you don't even have an American Express card. How did you manage that?
Iago: It was easy. I stood outside the story-telling room, and announced real loud that I was the surprise story-teller, and I would be reading War and Peace. Every single person ran away screaming. So then I had the lovely Alice all to myself.
Zazu: Poor Alice. What story did she read?
Iago: Story?? Who knows? I was too busy admiring her lovely blonde hair and ... other things. I couldn't follow what she was saying very well. It just seemed like a bunch of disconnected scenes, and I never did catch the ending.
Zazu: Why not?
Iago: Well, it seems that Disney has a policy against lap-sitting during the stories. Alice apparently got tired of saying, "No parrots on the pinafore!" and she eventually called Security. So these big tough guys came in and said that if I didn't get off her lap and clear out, they would call in Dr. Ima Sticker to show me what the American Express White Glove Treatment was all about. So that was the end of the story, as far as I was concerned. I just remember a lot of doors banging and lights flashing, as they escorted me out of the America Pavilion and into a security vehicle in the cast member parking lot for the trip home.
Zazu: Hmmmmm. Sounds rather like the ending of the original Alice in Wonderland attraction in Disneyland. That ride was also a series of disconnected vignettes, with a disappointing finale involving banging doors and flashing lights.
Iago: You mean the version we rode on our visit to Disneyland wasn't the original?
Zazu: Oh my, no. Now put down those mushrooms and listen up. By the way, where did you get those?
Iago: They were a gift from the Caterpillar. He and I got pretty chummy during our trip, you know.
Zazu: Yes, as I recall, "trip" was the operative word.
Iago: Hey, it was only second hand smoke! And I told you, I didn't inhale!
Zazu: What about the brownies you consumed?
Iago: What do you want from me? They had "EAT ME" written on them in powdered sugar, and I didn't want to insult my host.
Zazu: I'm not so sure that was powdered sugar. And you also smelled distinctly like alcohol when you got back to the room.
Iago: I was thirsty after those brownies. The bottle read: "DRINK ME," so I followed the directions.
Zazu: Well, now you can follow my directions. Sit still for a few minutes, and perhaps you'll learn something.
Iago: Okay. But you better tell all those little worms crawling on your beak to stop wiggling, so I can pay attention.
Zazu: You're hallucinating. Now, getting back to the attraction ... Disney's animated version of Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland" opened in 1951. Perhaps the person responsible for the credits had eaten some funny mushrooms, too, since Mr. Carroll's name was misspelled "Carrol" on the title page. In any event, on Disneyland's opening day in 1955, the only attraction based on the movie was the Mad Tea Party. But Walt wanted to tell the story of Alice's adventures in more detail, so work on a new dark ride was begun in 1957. Claude Coats, who was a key background artist for the film, was responsible for Show Design on the new attraction, which opened in June 1958.
Iago: Was it an E-ticket?
Zazu: No, it was a C-ticket, and in 1971 it became a B-ticket, worth 25 cents. Which reminds me, the ticket booth was shaped like a giant mushroom.
Iago: Yes, I can see the giant mushroom right now in your slide presentation.
Zazu: Iago, I'm not showing any slides.
Iago: Wow ... I must be, like, reading your mind, Zazu. Cool. But why are those maggots eating all the tickets?
Zazu: <sigh> Moving right along, the ticket booth is still there today, but its function has changed. It has been used as a lead office and a storage closet.
Iago: Are you sure it's not used as a big toadstool for that giant toad standing behind you? I think he's after the maggots.
Zazu: There is no giant toad, Iago, but much of the ride is located directly above Mr. Toad's Wild Ride on the second floor. This fact necessitated the unique design of the attraction vehicles, for which Mr. Coats received a patent. The 3-wheel Caterpillar cars are capable of handling both the uphill and downhill segments of the 764 foot track. There are sixteen of them, and they have 1 horsepower motors, and are propelled on their journey by 48 volt electric motors. They come in six different color combinations: yellow/yellow, green/green, pink/pink, yellow/orange, green/blue-green, and pink/purple. They each seat four passengers.
Iago: I could've sworn it was five passengers.
Zazu: Oh yes, pardon me. They seat four passengers comfortably, or four unlucky tourists and one smelly parrot uncomfortably.
Iago: Yeah, that Coats guy should've carved out a little more room on those babies.
Zazu: Well, Blaine Gibson did the actual sculpting.
Iago: Isn't he the guy who sculpted the Presidents' heads for the Hall of Presidents?
Zazu: Indeed. Apparently the Caterpillar cars were good practice for designing hollow objects. <ahem!>
Iago: It's a good thing that Heimlich wasn't the model for those cars. I don't think he's ever been hollow. That reminds me, where are the chips and dip? I'm starving.
Zazu: You must have a case of the Mind-Expanding Mushroom Munchies. A perfect example of why expansion isn't always a positive thing.
Iago: Can I have some of those lollipops that are sprouting out of the top of your head?
Zazu: No, and stop licking me! Your mention of Heimlich reminds me of the attraction's original exterior, which featured huge dandelions and blades of grass, rather like the environment in "A Bug's Life." This made Alice the most visually appealing of all the Fantasyland dark ride exteriors.
Iago: Yeah, Alice's exterior is visually appealing. But what was the ride like?
Zazu: When guests first entered the attraction building, it was very dark, and they heard Alice, as narrator, saying, "My adventures in Wonderland began when I followed a white rabbit down a rabbit hole. All of a sudden, I fell! Down, down, down...." Then, the Caterpillar car would crash through a door and head toward a mirror with an upside-down reflection. This first room was appropriately known as the Upside-Down Room, supposedly in the White Rabbit's house. Plywood props, such as furniture and pictures, and even a goldfish bowl, created in the style of the film, were secured to the walls and ceiling to give the topsy turvy impression. The White Rabbit himself was seen blowing a trumpet in the doorway.
Iago: That sounds okay, but not nearly as good as the Tower of Terror-type attraction idea I submitted to Imagineering, where you would fall in a glass elevator past all the weird furniture and stuff that Alice saw on her way down. Remind me to tell you about it when I float back down from the ceiling. Hey, did you know you have a bald spot on top of your head where the cherry lollipop used to be?
Zazu: And did you know that you have a "Vacancy" sign on your head where your brain used to be? The next scene was a place called the Oversize Room, furnished with an enormous armchair and footstool, where a painted cutout of the Cheshire Cat perched. A giant table and tea service could also be seen. Alice narrated, "I kept getting smaller, and smaller, and smaller," while the Cheshire Cat laughed. As guests left this room, another two-dimensional version of the Cat appeared overhead. The vehicle continued toward the whimsical doorknob from the film, with its keyhole mouth agape.
This led to the Flower Room, where the flowers sang "All in the Golden Afternoon." This was reminiscent of the Alice segment in the Mickey Mouse Revue. The scene ended with the unexpected appearance of an angry Dandy-Lion.
Iago: Wow! That sounds just like the time I walked in on Prince John in the men's room while he was sucking his thumb. Boy, was he mad!
Zazu: <ahem!> The next scene was The Tulgey Wood, which was a place filled with strange birds.
Iago: I thought that was the Tiki Room. <snort!>
Zazu: We only have one strange bird in the Tiki Room. The Tulgey Wood had a Birdcage Bird, an Accordion-Neck Owl, a pair of Horn Ducks --
Iago: Oh my gosh! What were they doing!?
Zazu: I said Horn Ducks, not horny ducks! Stop making a Spectacle Bird of yourself. Then there were two Pencil Birds --
Iago: Were they as wooden as you?
Zazu: Not only were they more wooden than me; they were a lot sharper than you. There was also an Umbrella Bird in the Tulgey Wood.
Iago: So that's where Mary Poppins' parrot lives.
Zazu: But the most frightening thing about the Tulgey Wood was the fiery red eyes that stared at guests from behind the trees.
Iago: I bet those guys were partying with the Caterpillar. I know my eyes were red after I visited him.
Zazu: I thought you didn't inhale.
Iago: Uhhhhh....
Zazu: Just as I suspected. Getting back to the attraction, guests found themselves right on the table as the Mad Hatter and the March Hare had tea. The "Unbirthday Song" played, while the two characters did their best impersonations of Fantasmic! crowd control Cast Members, yelling, "Move down, move down, move down ... very very rude indeed." The vehicle then smashed through a teapot, leading to the finale of strobe lights, crashing doors, and confusing signs. Finally, guests found themselves outside, where they travelled through the grassy exterior back to the loading area.
Iago: So when did they change it, and what were the changes? My memory is a little foggy.
Zazu: I'm not surprised, after hanging around with that cloud of smoke disguised as an insect.
Iago: Hey, his memory wasn't so bad. Although he did keep asking, "Whooooo aaaaare youuuuu?" every few minutes. But that wasn't as annoying as that stupid rabbit calling me Mary Ann and complaining that he was late.
Zazu: The White Rabbit wasn't the only one who was running late. The remodeled and expanded version of the attraction opened on 14 April 1984, a year after the rest of "New Fantasyland." An entire area devoted to Alice was created, by moving the Mad Tea Party closer; making the operations booth for the Tea Party into the March Hare's home; and adding the Mad Hatter shop, disguised as the White Rabbit's cottage. The giant dandelions disappeared, but ferns and a live tree were added. Inside, the Garden scene is located pretty much in the same spot as the original, as is the Tulgey Wood. But your smoky friend now appears in the Garden, while his ruby-eyed cohorts have disappeared from the Wood. Both scenes have been improved with three-dimensional props, and the Wood now contains a few versions of the Cheshire Cat, which must have been bad news for those birds.
Iago: No wonder he's smiling.
Zazu: There is a new soundtrack, which still features Kathryn Beaumont, who voiced Alice in the film and the original version of the attraction. There is also more music during the ride. The Upside-Down room is now a Right-Side-Up forest, complete with Tweedledee and Tweedledum, along with the late Mr. Rabbit. The Oversize Room shrank so much that it completely disappeared, becoming part of the Garden scene. The Tea Party room now displays the Croquet Ground, with the King and Queen of Hearts, the Cards, and the roses being painted red. The Crash Room has been turned into the Trial. A former maintenance room is now the setting for the Unbirthday Party, which is out of sequence, but does provide a much more satisfying finish. One that ends with a bang, as a matter of fact, courtesy of an exploding cake.
Iago: Gee, Zazu, that sounds almost as good as this trick you're pulling right now, with your head exploding. Wheeee! Off with your head! How are you doing that, anyway?
Zazu: Iago, just how many of those mushrooms did you have?
Iago: I don't remember. How can you talk when your beak is floating around in itty bitty pieces like that? I think you should be an official Disney story-teller, Zazu. You could read "1001 Arabian Nights," and each little part of your beak could tell a different story.
Zazu: Fine. Just as long as you promise not to sit in my lap.
The music selected to accompany this page is "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane.