Iago: Nah, it was just some old coconut shells that I found in that SoundWorks area at the exit of the show.
Zazu: Well, Iago, here I am, ready for an evening of --
Iago: <BURP!>
Zazu: Er, fine entertainment.
Iago: Good. Did you bring the pork rinds and the beef jerky?
Zazu: <sigh> Yes, here they are. The poor fellow behind the counter at the Gourmet Pantry gave me a funny look and directions to the nearest quickie mart when I inquired about them. By the way, I was reading the list of ingredients on the way over here. Have you any idea what you're introducing into your system when you eat those things?
Iago: No. And don't tell me. I like to live dangerously.
Zazu: Funny you should mention living dangerously. That ties in with tonight's entertainment.
Iago: Ooh, you rented "The Year of Living Dangerously" with Mel Gibson and Sigourney Weaver and that strange little person who gives me nightmares about Grandmother Willow?
Zazu: No, I'm afraid not.
Iago: I know! You got that French one with Michelle Pfeiffer and Uma Thurman, in those dresses with the pushed-up--
Zazu: No! I did not rent "Dangerous Liaisons."
Iago: So what video did you get?
Zazu: I didn't get a video. I thought we'd take this opportunity to discuss an Attraction of the Week.
Iago: Attraction of the Week?!
Zazu: Yes. Now, where can I plug in this room ionizer? Ah, that looks like an outlet over there under that branch. Here, hold my notes and see if you can figure out which attraction we'll be discussing.
Iago: Oh, all right. What does this chicken scratch say? ... I can't make heads or tailfeathers of it. Something about how chasing a short Martian in a Chevy on Saturday morning sounds dangerous. Wait a minute. I thought we talked about Mission to Mars last time. Did you leave something out?
Zazu: No, of course I--
<ZAP! SNAP! CRACKLE! POP!>
Iago: Uhhhhh ... Zazu? Are you okay?
Zazu: Good heavens, Iago, this treehouse must have faulty wiring! I was nearly roasted alive. And now all the lights are out.
Iago: P.U! I hope Aunt Polly doesn't smell those singed feathers, or we'll both be dead ducks.
Zazu: She'll never find us. I can't see my beak in front of my face.
Iago: Wow, I can't see your beak either. That's a first. It really is dark. <snicker>
Zazu: Oh, shut up! From the looks of things, all of Adventureland is blacked out. The electric company will be hearing about this!
Iago: Um, I don't think you better tell them, Zazu. My electrical connection is just a teensy bit illegal. You know, like my cable. But look on the bright side of this darkness. Now that you can't see your notes, we'll have to find something else to do. Like sleeping. G'night!
Zazu: Oh, no you don't. I've got those notes committed to memory. And besides, this is the perfect opportunity to discuss the sound show at the Disney-MGM Studios.
Iago: The sound show? I thought you were gonna talk about Martians.
Zazu: That's Martin! As in Martin Short. He and Chevy Chase starred in the original sound attraction at the Disney-MGM Studios, known as the "Monster Sound Show." It opened with the park on 1 May 1989. It was a 15-minute show, presented by Sony, in which volunteers from the audience attempted to insert the proper sound effects into a short film.
Iago: Oh yeah. I remember that. The movie was all about a creepy character who lived in a strange place, and then this other guy comes over and the creepy guy keeps trying to kill him.
Zazu: Yes, precisely. But the--
<Sputter! Whirrrrr! WHIRRRRR! BUZZZZZ!>
Zazu: Aaaaaagh! What is that?! Something just came within inches of my head.
Iago: Oops. Sorry, Zazu, I thought that was the pull string on my Woody doll. I guess it was my gas-powered hedge trimmer instead. Looks like you almost got a Buzz cut. Bwahahaha! Oh, here's Woody.
Woody doll: Reach for the sky!
Zazu: Put that thing down! Now, as I was saying, the "Monster Sound Show" featured audience participation in a Foley Studio. The Foley Studio took its name from Jack Foley, a Universal Studios technician who became famous for his innovations in synchronized sound for films back in the 1950's.
Iago: What's so hard about synchronizing the sound effects? Seems like it would be easy enough.
Zazu: I'm sure that's what the audience members thought, too. Until they tried it for themselves. Each volunteer was assigned to several different effects, making it nearly impossible to time them properly. There were footsteps, knocks, creaks, crashes, and other noises that had to be precisely worked into the movie. The various miscues and delays were what made the attraction fresh and funny each and every time. It's very amusing to watch a chandelier crash to the floor, and not hear the sound of glass shattering until several seconds later. Occasionally, the sound of one effect would occur at the precise moment when another effect was supposed to happen.
Iago: Yeah, but when movies are really made, don't the microphones pick everything up during the filming?
Zazu: Not quite. Sometimes a film requires a type of sound that doesn't exist in real life. For instance, the sound of a UFO landing, or the roar of a dinosaur. In those cases, Foley artists must create an appropriate sound to match the action. Did you know that the sound of E.T.'s wobble was produced by squishing gelatin in t-shirts?
Iago: No wonder I get the urge to watch a Drew Barrymore flick every time I attend a jello-wrestling match!
Zazu: And quite often, a filmmaker needs to enhance a particular sound for dramatic effect. Footsteps in a horror flick. The tick of a clock in a suspense movie. Crowd noise in a sports film. That last sound, by the way, is called "walla."
Iago: You mean that French word that you always shout when you come up with some big word in Scrabble?
Zazu: No, that's "Voila!" I'm talking about "walla" as in Walla Walla, Washington. And have you ever heard of a mixing console?
Iago: Of course I have. I would use mine right now to make margaritas, but the darn power is out.
Zazu: Apparently, someone set your brain on "puree" years ago. I'm referring to a machine that mixes various sounds to produce a single desired sound effect. And you do know what a splash tank is, don't you?
Iago: Of course I do. That's when a babe stands next to that mermaid fountain over at the Studios, and the water splashes on her tank top. That's a great effect!
Zazu: No, that is not what a splash tank is!
Iago: Oh. I remember now. A splash tank is what the custodial cast members complain about every time I use the restrooms in Adventureland.
Zazu: Well, that's one definition. But the correct answer is, a container filled with water that's used for creating wet sound effects. Which reminds me, I'm feeling rather parched.
<SPLASH, GURGLE, FIZZ>
Iago: Ahhhh ... that's good.
Zazu: Well! Perhaps you could find a beverage for me as well, Mr. Hospitality.
Iago: A beverage? Zazu, it's pitch black in here. How do you expect me to find the refrigerator?
Zazu: Aren't you drinking something right now?
Iago: Heck no. I did have a couple of brewskies right before you got here, though.
Zazu: Well then, what was that sound I just-- <gasp!>
Woody doll: Somebody's poisoned the water hole!
Iago: Hey, I think I just found a glass of something-or-other. Feels kinda warm, though. You want it?
Zazu: NO!!! And stop playing with that doll!
Iago: Woody's just one of my Disney character gadgets. I've got one for every character in my collection.
Zazu: Speaking of characters and gadgets, Disney had its own sound effects genius in the person of Jimmy Macdonald, who not only distinguished himself as the voice of Mickey Mouse in the 1940's, but also created 20,000 different doohickeys for making noises.
Iago: My doohickey makes 20,000 different noises, too.
Zazu: Yes, so I've heard ... not to mention smelled. Getting back to Jimmy, the preshow to the "Monster Sound Show" featured a film in which he demonstrated some of his favorite sound effect devices. This film also included a humorous warning from David Letterman that, "If you break anything, security guards in mouse suits will beat you senseless."
Iago: What do you mean, humorous?? That's the gospel truth.
Zazu: And I suppose you know this because you actually broke something at the "Monster Sound Show?"
Iago: Yeah. My beak!!! Apparently, Mickey wears those big white gloves to cover up his brass knuckles.
Zazu: You must have damaged something valuable to provoke that sort of reaction from security.
Iago: Nah, it was just some old coconut shells that I found in that SoundWorks area at the exit of the show.
Zazu: Iago, those coconut shells were used to create the sound of hoofbeats in "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow."
Iago: Oh. My mistake. I was gonna string them together with dental floss and give them to Ariel as a Christmas present.
Zazu: Good idea. I'm sure Prince Eric would have strung you together with dental floss and served you with cranberry sauce at his Christmas dinner. But I'm glad you mentioned the SoundWorks area, as this has always been my favorite part of the attraction. Besides those unfortunate coconut shells, this area displays the original Tinker Bell chimes and a door used in "Alice in Wonderland." It also includes such interactive stations as "Movie Mimics" where guests try to sync their voice to a character, like Mickey Mouse or Clark Gable; and "Earie Encounters," where you can reproduce the flying saucer sounds heard in the film "Forbidden Planet."
<SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!>
Zazu: No, I'm sorry, Iago, but that sounds nothing like a flying saucer.
<SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!>
Iago: That wasn't me, Zazu.
<SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!>
Woody doll: There's a snake in my boot!
Zazu: Iago, I think there's a snake in this tree!
<SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!>
Zazu: Good heavens! It's right at my feet! Aaaaaaaagh! I can't see it, but I think there may be two of them. I'm stepping on two big lumps.
Iago: Two big lumps? That's not a snake! You just punctured my inflatable Jessica Rabbit doll! I told you I had a gadget for every character. Jessica was my favorite. Don't you ever clip your talons?
Zazu: Clip? That reminds me of the second version of the sound show, which opened in July 1997 and was based on Disney's One Saturday Morning cartoon, "101 Dalmatians." The attraction building officially became known as the ABC Sound Studio. The new show used the same basic premise as the Monster Sound Show, but the live action film was replaced with a 45-second cartoon clip. And given your <ahem!> unusual affinity for cartoon characters, and your short attention span, you must have enjoyed that.
Iago: Oh man, they had a sound show with a Saturday morning cartoon? How did I miss that?
Zazu: Don't worry. You didn't miss much, I assure you. That version of the sound show was blessedly short-lived. In Spring 1999, a brand new 12-minute show, called "Sounds Dangerous," premiered at the ABC Sound Studio, sponsored by none other than ABC. This one features Drew Carey as a bumbling undercover detective named Charlie Foster, starring in a live TV program. The plotline involves a smuggling operation at a snowglobe company. Foster quickly manages to ruin his miniature hidden camera, leaving the audience completely in the dark. Deprived of visual cues, the guests must decipher what is happening based solely on the show's audio components.
Iago: Huh?
Zazu: <sigh> You put on a set of headphones, and you get to hear what Foster is experiencing, but you can't see any of it. The show makes use of binaural sound, an incredibly realistic method of sound re-creation. In essence, listening to a binaural recording is the aural equivalent of viewing a 3D film. The method of recording is most peculiar. The recordings are actually made with two small microphones placed at the entrance to the ear canals on an artificial head! These two channels are kept completely separate, so it's very important that you note the left and right markings on your headphone set. For "Sounds Dangerous," the Disney Imagineers recorded actual sounds on microphones so sensitive that they could detect a change in room pressure. But the most amazing thing about binaural sound is that it was first tested all the way back in 1881! And at the World's Fair in 1939, a binaural dummy head named "Oscar" was a non-Disney version of an E-ticket attraction. Perhaps a more appropriate name would have been "Iago."
Iago: Hey! I resemble that crack!
Zazu: Before "Sounds Dangerous" premiered, the Sound Studio only featured binaural sound in the small "Soundstations" located at the exit of the show. In fact, the effect of Charlie Foster getting his hair cut will seem familiar to previous "Soundstations" visitors. Because "Sounds Dangerous" requires individual headsets next to each seat, the original studio seating capacity of 270 has been somewhat reduced.
As a side note, the same binaural technology is used for the "Song of the Rainforest" attraction at Animal Kingdom's Conservation Station. As a matter of fact, there are a number of interesting animal sounds in "Sounds Dangerous," too. One is a jar of angry killer bees, and another is ... um, the sound of elephant tinkle.
<CRRRRRRRRUNCH, CRRRRRRACK>
Zazu: Iago, are you sure these branches are safe? I hear something cracking.
Iago: Hmmmmm? I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? I found those pork rinds awhile back, and I haven't heard anything you said for the last 5 minutes.
Zazu: No, I will not repeat it, jerkybrains! Let's just say that my experience here tonight has been exactly like the sound show, except that I would much rather be stuck in the dark with an elephant, an electric razor, and a jar of killer bees than a parrot, a gas-powered hedge trimmer, and a leaky Inflate-A-Friend. Though I must say that the elephant tinkle and the parrot pee-pee were equally disgusting.
<flash of lightning> <RRRRUMBLE ... BOOM!>
Zazu: I've had enough of this. I'm going back to the Tiki Room. It thunders there too, but at least I'll have a proper roof over my head.
Iago: You can't leave now! What about the storm?
Zazu: Iago, the last place I want to be during a storm is in the top of a tree! Now, if I can find my way to the stairs, I'll just count them all the way down. Let's see ... 68 stairs going up, and 69 going down ... ah, here they are!
Iago: Great, so now I'm sitting here in the dark by myself....
<bright flash of lightning> <ZAP! CRACK!>
Iago: Holy mackerel, there goes the exercise room! This darn penthouse started out as an eight-room apartment, and now I'm down to three. Stupid lightning! Oh well, at least it wasn't a room I use. Say, I wonder if I should warn Zazu to look out for that big branch that's hurtling toward the ground...?
Zazu: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
<THUD!>
Iago: Oops. Sounds like I missed my cue.
The music chosen to accompany this page is "The Sounds of Silence" by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkle.